Next to sex, I am willing to bet that the most fought about thing in many relationships is finances. It probably doesn’t matter who makes more than whom either. In many relationships, there probably exists a situation where one person is a spender and the other is a saver. Aside from the financial implications of this scenario, relationships involving two people with different ideas about money will rarely work out to be healthy relationships. I’ve known couples who were heavily in debt, but despite the motivation of one of the partners to shed off debt, the other would just add more debt at the same rate that it was being paid off.

In other scenarios, maybe there are two savers, or two spenders, but one of them is just more extreme than the other. What if one spouse is extremely intense about saving money and wants to put away $500 a month, but can only put away $400 a month because the other spouse has decided that they value collectable dolls more than they value putting away that extra $100? Or maybe there is one person in the relationship who is a heavy charity donator or tither. While one person believes that $500 in weekly tithes is important and fundamental to continued financial blessings, the other may feel that having $500 to be used for discretionary spending is the blessing, and should be contributed to a retirement account. Although savings in both situations is occurring, unless there is a compromise, these situations may still lead to preventing wealth if they lead to never-ending fights, unhappiness, or even worse, a divorce.

Being on different financial pages can make any relationship grow sour quickly—this is an addition to the normal everyday complaints. So in the end, “money fights” usually pour fuel on top of small fires until they get out of hand. We’ll try and try to extinguish these fires, but often with little success.

An unhappy relationship may lead us into trying to buy the happiness of our spouse, when in fact “things” are unlikely to make the relationship better; things would most likely accumulate more debt. If we are unhappy, maybe we’ll spend lots of time away from home not working, but in bars or “hanging with the guys or girls.” Many people may shop more to overcome a stressful relationship, or travel more often than usual—all leading to an eventual trial separation or divorce—and it should be pretty obvious how these situations prevent wealth. If there is a separation phase, both parties accumulate bills that have to be paid, whether or not both parties are working. If there is a divorce, legal fees, possible alimony payments, child-support payments, and split assets will be pursued.

Each couple’s situation is unique. The above scenarios involved money fights from savers. In addition to the scenarios above, there are couples who are completely engulfed in debt, yet one spouse wants to remain a spender and is unwilling to accept the reality of the need to reduce spending. Also, there are situations in which the household income is high, but is insignificant when taking into account the spending habits of one or both of the spouses. And then there is the case that my spouse and I had gone through.

The Saver vs. the Non-Saver

I have always tried to be an extreme saver. When I say extreme, I mean so extreme that early into our relationship I would get upset that my spouse would throw away pennies. In the beginning of our relationship, I would always put us on a budget for everything. I would have a set spending budget for gas, groceries, utilities, and more. It was so extreme that even if she wanted something at the grocery store, if it wasn’t on the list, I would convince her not to get it because “we were on a budget.” I can clearly remember her usual mock, “budget, smudget.”

In my mind, it was necessary for this type of restrictive spending. We had come into the marriage with debt just like many young couples, and we accumulated more debt as our marriage matured. But although we had debts, I also wanted us to save. It wasn’t much that I wanted to save, but in my spouse’s eyes savings for the sake of saving generated no interest—especially if it restricted her from having a nice living or dining room set, or car. Short-term savings was okay, but to hoard money was unacceptable.

But the restrictive attitude of the saver can only hold up for so long. A dilemma is presented; whether to save as much as one can or give a little, through compromise, and spend money to make both spouses happy. If one knows what is best, the choice to make both spouses happy, through compromise, is most often the best choice.

Fortunately for me, my spouse had never been a big spender so the choice to spend more money to make her happy was an easy one—sometimes. Still, when we bought her new cars or clothes or whatever, that was money that we did not save in a retirement or savings account. While saving $500 a month would have made me happy, I know it would not have made a difference to my spouse. So instead, I chose to make her happy and did what every married couple should theoretically do, which is to save and share our money through compromise. But, this was not always easy. I had been the sole “bread winner” for the length of our marriage, and because of this my attitude on spending was usually always the most dominant.

Even though we earned a fairly decent household salary, things were still stressful in terms of spending money. Because I was a saver, the wants of my spouse became insignificant no matter how small they were. There were times where I could never justify why we would need to “upgrade” our comforter set, purchase more school clothes for our son, or purchase a new book bag or lunch box for a new school year when he had already had one. I wouldn’t want to spend as much money as she would want for Christmas or birthday presents either, although it wasn’t much more than we were going to spend anyway. In most cases she simply gave up because she knew that she would not be able to convince me to spend the extra money, or she knew that a conversation would end up in a money-fight with me telling her in so many words that I was the bread winner and what I said stood.

So what’s the right answer and how does this type of attitude prevent us from building wealth? The most obvious answer is that the two conflicting spending habits can eventually get to a point where it is unbearable, and the relationship subsequently grows stale. Instead of enjoying each other’s company, money fights will lead to distasteful attitudes that leave the couple not able to stand being with each other.

Either way, unless both people in a relationship are heavy savers and agree upon a savings strategy, someone has to give at his or her own expense. This can be very difficult to do, because it plays on the emotional psyche of the saver. When a spender wants something, without discipline, there is little that their significant other can say or do to stop the spender from buying what he or she wants. And on the contrary, when a saver wants to squeeze in every last penny, because of discipline, there is little the other person can say or do to stop them, unless the spender spends all or most of the money. Either way, someone will be frustrated. Who is right? Is there even a right or wrong person?

Financial Compromises

The only way to combat financial friction in a relationship is through compromise. It is easy in theory, but hard in practice. There are several scenarios in which compromise may work. Let’s look at three such scenarios; one scenario involving one working spouse, and the second and third scenarios involving compromises in a two-family income situation.

In the first scenario, there is one working spouse. Regardless of what the non-working spouse does, whether it is because he or she can’t find a job or simply desires to stay home with the kids, a compromise between the two workers has to be ascertained. This compromise comes in the form of agreeing upon how to split discretionary income between each member in the family. For this to happen, both people in the relationship have to first sit down and discuss how much money is coming in and how much money is going out. Chances would have it that one of the two don’t really care, but sitting down and discussing incomes and outgoes gives a chance for questions to come up and expenses to be clarified. If after the conversation it is determined that there is no discretionary income available, perhaps the spender will scale back his or her spending—hopefully. However, if it is determined that there is, say $1,000 a month for discretionary spending, compromises should then be made.

After determining what’s available for discretionary spending, the question between the couple should be, “How are we going to split our discretionary spending so that it is fair for the both of us?” In the best scenario, amounts should be determined and then split between saving and spending. For example, $500 monthly could be saved while $500 monthly is split between the two partners, giving them each $250, as spending money. If one person needs more money and it is mutually agreed upon, maybe it could be worked out that $500 monthly is saved and one person receives $200 monthly to spend while the other gets $300 monthly. In either case, boundaries should be established and both parties should be free to spend without one person scrutinizing the purchases of the other. If it must be done, split the money using cash.

The previous case also works well when both parties are working, which brings us to our second scenario. Despite who makes more than whom, if both partners are working and the salary of one worker is just enough to cover all the household expenses but not save, it is best to use one salary for all household expenses and the other to save and discretionarily spend. The discretionary salary should be split, and just as before, a mutually-agreed-upon amount should be determined such that some is saved and some is spent between the two partners.

In the last scenario, one person makes enough to pay off all of the bills and save for the family, but still there are disagreements on how much they should save. For example, I was at a point where I had put so much into savings that I had minimized the amount of spending money between my spouse and me.

I wanted and always will want to save as much as I can for the family because I stress the importance of an early retirement. Consequently, I try to max out our retirement accounts and save intensely for unexpected or irregular expenses that are not in our monthly budget such as yearly homeowner’s association dues, life insurance premiums, flood insurance premiums, flights to visit family, random trips, or anything random with our rental home. To me, these are a must, but to my spouse, they were needs, but the importance of how much they were needed was not fully understood. And to me, her attitude was not unacceptable as many may think. In many relationships, one person simple doesn’t care as much about finances as the other—it’s a fact of life. However, what ended up happening is that the more I saved, the less money remained for my spouse and me to split. Although I was fine with the amount, because savings was my priority for the family, my spouse was not. So in our scenario, and because my son was at an age where my spouse and I were comfortable putting him in an afterschool program, she worked a part-time job. Every penny that she had made was her own to spend. Of course, this is a special case, but it worked for us—we had no debts that we both needed to pay off, and we kept saving at the same rate. I was saving for the family, and my spouse made and spent her own money.

Not every couple can make the compromises that we made, but the point is that one should be made. In certain relationships, one partner would think that it is unfair that one person spends all of “their” money while the other person has to save for both, especially because the savings benefits the two of them. However, the entering argument is that one person is a saver and the other is not. Unless you want to fight about how much you two should save, versus spend, and end up unhappy because of money fights, it is best to let it be, especially if one salary covers expenses and savings goals.

The understanding needs to be that whatever the compromise, money for separate personal spending, that each partner agrees to, should not used to acquire new debt—because ultimately, the debt can become the burden of the both. For example, in our first scenario with one working partner, let us say that between the two partners $250 each was agreed upon for spending money. One partner should not get a credit card or finance a $200 monthly car payment. It has to be understood that the split money is only used for standard expenses.

Once again, whatever the compromise, one has to be made. We cannot build wealth if we are constantly fighting with our significant others about their spending habits. Both partners have to absolutely determine how to spend the house’s money. Dealing with an unhappy partner is not fun and divorces are expensive. Most importantly, life is far too short to spend it fighting about money. We should rather spend it accumulating wealth and enjoying each other’s company.

How many of us know someone whose marriage has ended in divorce? If I were to render a guess, because of the alarming number of marriages that end in divorce, many of us can say we know someone who has gone through one. Even if we end up on the same financial page as our spouses, there are many other things that may pull a relationship apart. Marriages can end in a divorce for many reasons that may include extreme differences in the way children are disciplined, inadequate companionship, sexual infidelity, or simple changes in heart by one or both people in the relationship in general. Whatever the case may be, a divorce will on some level ultimately prevent plenty of wealth.

The most obvious way that a divorce will prevent wealth is the high costs of legal fees involved and then the ultimate division of shared property. Legal fees are additional costs on top of any separation that has taken place prior to a court filing; separations usually consist of both parties paying for a place to live and paying the associated living costs. There are filing fees, mandatory but costly parenting education classes in some states if children are involved, and the cost of individual legal consultation in many cases. In the division of shared property, whether one spouse gets everything or just an equal share, one spouse will usually have to purchase whatever it is that was given up in a settlement. Still, on top of all these costs, some sorts of alimony or child support payments are usually due to one spouse by the other. All the while, this money could have been used to grow a hefty nest egg for the couple.

The loss of income of one of the spouses or the additional expenses that may have to be incurred because a non-working spouse is no longer able to take care of children is an unfortunate reality of a divorce. For example, if one spouse was always accustomed to staying home with the children, but then is awarded custody of the children, whether sole or joint custody was awarded, he or she may now have to pay for the children’s care if he or she has to work, because child support may not be enough to support the previous lifestyle.

One sad thing about a divorce is that it is usually predictable in many signs leading up to it. The signs can be blatant or subtle, but the best person who will know what the signs are is one that is in the relationship. Some signs can be noticed if we ask simple questions such as, has one person become emotionally distant, is there an extreme slowdown in communication, has it been communicated that a partner no longer wants to be in a relationship with the other? In any case, the best way to approach any sign is to communicate and seek help early in the difficulty and do the best that we can to save the relationship. Not doing so can result in worse outcomes than we may like.

It can feel quite defeating if after seeking help and doing all that we can to prevent a divorce, efforts still seem to be failing. If the attempts have grown exhaustive, and one person is or both persons are adamant that the relationship will not work, it is usually in the couple’s best financial interest to seek an inevitable divorce before things get so bad that malicious acts and dishonesty begin manifesting in the relationship. Staying in a relationship when one person is not wanted by the other, despite all that has been done to keep a relationship strong can make an inevitable divorce worse. If a divorce must happen, it has to be as “cordial” as possible; this will be the only way to minimize how much wealth is ultimately prevented. In other words, it is almost always best to leave a relationship before sexual infidelity or extreme resentment occurs. If not, it will usually make a divorce harder than it already is.

Minimizing the Negative Financial Effects of Divorce

The point of accepting an inevitable divorce early into the signs of emotional withdrawal or before sexual infidelity, knowing that all has been done that can be done (marriage counseling, self-help books, spiritual guidance, etc.), is so that an uncontested divorce can at least be considered, depending on your state’s laws. An uncontested divorce is when both spouses agree that the marriage has come to an end and have come to a mutually satisfying agreement regarding a final divorce settlement. Furthermore, both spouses may be able to sit down and agree to a Pro Se divorce litigation. This means that the couple will individually represent themselves, without an attorney, which can cut out expensive attorney fees.

The issue with both an uncontested divorce and a Pro Se divorce litigation is that emotional and legal aspects have to be kept separate. It will be hard to keep these two aspects separated if there is a burning vengeful desire by one spouse because of the acts of the other. In that case, it is always best to seek an attorney. Issues such as dividing marital property, determining alimony, or child support and child custody can come up and can have negative consequences if not properly handled.

In the end, no one gets married knowing that the relationship will end in a divorce, but as we all know, it sometimes happens. Before doing anything spiteful or more hurtful to our partner, it is best to communicate and express true feelings early so that if a divorce ultimately takes place, it can be on the most reasonable terms that will minimize how much wealth we prevent.

The concept of what a friend has become is so startling. Thanks to the Internet, and with exceptional thanks to Mark Zuckerberg’s Facebook, the traditional definition of what we’ve had as a friend has been revolutionized.

My young son had confided in me about one such revolutionized relationship with a “friend” that had in my words, affected his life. He was playing a game on one of his video game consoles. In this game, one can make “friends” by interacting over an Internet-connected network with others as the game is being played. Eventually, with enough interactions with the same players, “friendships” are made.

It’s really quite simple to make a “friend” with this game; it’s as simple as three button presses on an interfacing controller. After the “friend” has been added to a friend’s list, anytime the game console is turned on, the user will be alerted when a “friend” also turns on his game console if it is connected to the console’s network. After several interactions over the Internet, these “friends” become supposedly “real friends.” Without ever seeing this “friend,” without ever having a conversation outside of an electronic chat, without ever sharing a brawl, without ever touching, a relationship is made.

My son had told me that his “friend” had made him upset one day, and that he was rather sad. His “friend” decided that he did not want to invite my son to play online that day, and his “friend” told him that he was too busy interacting with other online gamer “friends.” Thus, my son became disappointed, and to my dismay, as a parent, I had to share that burden.

In my conversation with my son, I tried to explain to him what a true friend was: someone with whom you can sit down with, have a conversation with, play sports games with, and have a sleepover with. But am I wrong? Has the Internet really revolutionized what a friend has become?

As I pondered this question, I thought about the relationships that I had made over the Internet in my short time blogging and over few years that I had been taking online graduate courses. I too had never met the people with whom I’ve had online interactions with, but over several electronic conversations, connections were eventually made. More conversations had ensued, and I had begun to learn from my new “friends” and share past experiences—things that are fundamentally cherished in friendship. Although these shared experiences had been limited specifically to personal finance, they had been experiences nevertheless.

It has now become easier to find someone over the Internet who is interested in personal finance than it is to find someone with similar interests in person. Is it because it’s just a fact, or is it because our lives have made it so? Unfortunately, I think that it’s the former, especially when the majority of people’s time is spent on the Internet. But then again, there is no coffee shop that advertises; Only Personal Finance Discussions Here any more than there is a school yard that advertises; Only Little Big Planet Discussions Here.

Around the same time that my son had confided in me, my spouse had did the same. She told me how she was kind of upset because her “friends” were going to sporting events that she had wished that she had the opportunity to attend. And she further told me how her friends were meeting the sports stars, which made her disappointments worse. And like my son, my spouse had never actually met these “friends,” but their Internet relationship was built over time. Yet, she still was affected by the comments, pictures, and vacations of these “friends” because she had begun living vicariously through them. Is the new concept of “friend” just a temporary social phenomenon?

The time that is spent with our Internet “friends” is now limited only by time zones, so we can pretty much stay connected, especially with the tools that allow us to do so: laptops, smart phones, and tablets, among other things. Our friends in the past were limited by our routines. But now, our “friends” have become a part of our routines. Waking up in the morning, we can see what our “friends” did while we were asleep. While we are getting ready for work, we can see what our “friends” have posted on their blogs or “pages.” While at work we can interact via our smart phones, and get the latest “statuses” or “tweets” of our friends. In between adding ingredients to our recipes while cooking dinner when we are finally home from work, we can still exchange a few chats. In between waking, going to work, cleaning, and up until we go to bed, we can and often do make our “friends’” lives our own. But in this new concept, does the new “friend” take away from family, or jobs, or our productivity? Are our “friends” just a convenient joy to past time? Are they better for us? Or do our connections become an addiction?

If it is true that time equals money, and money is earned by giving our time, does time excessively spent with our “friends” prevent us from earning money and therefore prevent our wealth? When it comes to a point where we can’t even shut friends off and are expected to respond quickly to their “pokes,” doesn’t it take away from our productivity? Can’t we do something else more meaningful? Have our “friends” really become so important that we allow those interactions to take away from who we are?

So like my son was affected by his “friend’s” actions over his gaming network and like my spouse was affected by her vicarious desires, does your social “friends” affect your earning ability, productivity, or creativity? Are those relationships so important as to take away from our productivity?

How much of our time that we spend online can be spent instead on building a better relationship with our partners or children? How much of that time can be spent experiencing life? How much of that time could be spent by earning extra money, working on a novel, taking online classes, creating the next Facebook? How does your “friends” affect your earning ability? How does your “friends” affect your significant relationships? How do your friends prevent your wealth?

Let me be clear, though, social networking, blogs, video games, books, and other things are not the enemy. We are in control. However, if we let these new social forms of engagement consume and affect our lives, we will no longer be in control. We must all strive for the perfect work-life balance. We must give ourselves a time limit on our engagements. We must figure out which ones are more important to our productivity and which of our “friends” are really helping us to grow. Because ultimately, taking in too much of one thing will always leave too little room for something else. Always. But I suppose what the question really boils down to is that of productivity, and do we understand the importance of a work-life balance concept?

The work-life balance concept is about prioritizing work and pleasures such as social networking, video games, and other things that may direct our attention away from securing our financial future. In order to maximize our financial future, we must never be complacent with our financial situation unless we have reached a point where we no longer are depending on others for our income; in many cases, few people have reached such a pinnacle. Therefore, we must balance pleasures with work. If we find that we are neglecting to do things such as continue our education or learn a new skill, or not doing things to maximize our earnings and therefore our marketability at work, then we must find an appropriate balance. Working on earning a degree as opposed to working to get to the next level in a video game will almost always be better for our financial future.

Some of us strive to achieve the work-life balance concept, yet we often fail, and it’s acceptably understood given all of the distractions in the new world that we live in. We just have to keep striving to achieve balance. If we are not careful, we may find that our dealings with technology may cheat us out of living. Whether that living is through building a stronger relationship with the family, or giving more time to one’s self by increasing one’s education, whether formal or informal, we should try to lean towards these things prior to settling down into our virtual escapes.

Prior to playing a video game, writing a blog post, watching an hour of television, or whatever it is that we may struggle with, we must take a look around the house and ask ourselves, can our time be spent doing something better? Is the laundry put away or has it been in the dryer for several days now? Have I played the board game with my children that they received for Christmas or a birthday?

Have I read a book in a while that causes me to think and reflect? Is whatever it is that I am about to do going to help me or someone else grow?

If you are currently uncomfortable with your financial picture, you should ask yourself whether whatever it is that you long so much to do is going to help your financial future. Or will you continue your old ways, and thus prevent yourself from building wealth, even though wealth is knowingly within your reach?

The unfortunate, but realistic truth in all of this is that many of us still will not understand the troubles that we put ourselves through until we wake up to find how low we have actually sunk. It won’t be until we successfully prevent our wealth, that we realize the ramifications of our past actions. But by then, it may be too late. We may find ourselves working at age sixty, not because we want to, but because we have to. We will live vicariously through those who have actually made it, and envy their success.

We must resist the described extreme financial mistakes, and we must realize that we can live for today, but only if we are well prepared for tomorrow. Having learned throughout this book the ways that we prevent wealth, how should we actually build it? To put it simply, we have to be conscious to avoid doing the things that prevent our wealth. No one can guarantee riches in real estate. No one can guarantee success in the stock market. And no one can predict what tomorrow will bring. However, what we can predict is that if we heed the information presented in this book, wealth is within our reach, as long as we have given ourselves time to succeed.

Time is our true enemy, but it can also be on our side. The earlier we set a plan for wealth, the wealthier we can become. The earlier we realize our mistakes, the earlier we can turn them around.

Depending on how far we’ve sunk, wealth accumulation will not be easy, and for some it can be almost impossible. But what we can do is vow to live a better financial life composed of wiser financial decisions; decisions that does not burden us with debt payments, or led us to impulsive spending, but ones that well thought out and made consciously.

What is your vision? Think about it, and set goals to get there. Instead of simply living for today, plan for tomorrow. Does this mean that we can’t buy the things that we want? Should we live a life of pure frugality? Should we not enjoy life’s pleasures as they are presented? The short answer is no, as long as we have a strategic plan in place.

There are really only four main steps to build wealth. We must:

• Define what wealth means to us.
• Determine what needs to happen to bring wealth within our reach.
• Set effective financial goals to meet our personal definition of wealth.
• Reevaluate our goals as necessary.

I’ve learned that there is no magic formula for building wealth, although, a golden rule will sum it up: Make smart decisions! After all, it’s not how little we earn; it’s the accumulation of unwise decisions that prevents us from building wealth. For many, wealth accumulation is a slow process, but most of us can get there if we allow ourselves to do so. We must create a plan that we can commit to, but continually reevaluate it as necessary. Only then can we understand where we are going. Only then can we stop preventing wealth.

An Example of a Plan in Action:

Define what wealth means to me:

Wealth is not working, unless I want to work. If I enjoy what I do, then working won’t be a problem, but if I don’t enjoy what I do, I want to walk away, and not have to worry about how I’m going to pay my next month’s bills. If I’m sleepy in the morning, I should be able to sleep in. If I’m tired at work, I should be able to go home.

Wealth should maximize my time. If I want to take a month of travel, I should be able to do so, without answering to anyone, and not having anything to worry about. If I want to extend my vacation for a week or two, I should be able to do so. If my grandchildren have a school play, I should be able to attend, without any repercussions for taking off of work. After all, if I’m wealthy I wouldn’t have to work.

Wealth is helping others. If there is someone in need, I should be able to give without hesitating to help. With minimum bills, and a steady stream of income, this would be no problem.

Determine what needs to happen to bring wealth within my reach:

1. If I pay off my home, my largest monthly expense should be gone in retirement.
2. If I start a plan now to ensure that my children’s college tuition is covered before they actually start college, I will not have that expense taking away from any retirement income.
3. If I save enough towards retirement such that I generate a healthy retirement income, I will not need to work.
4. If I appropriately insure myself, I can protect my assets, and subsequently my income generating ability.

Set effective financial goals to meet my personal definition of wealth:

1. I want my home to be paid off before I am forty-five years old. I am now thirty-years-old. In order to do this, I will mortgage my home for no more than 15 years. This means that I must refinance to correct my mistake of an original thirty year mortgage. This will not only pay off my home before I am 45, but it will minimize the interest that I pay, and help me actually build equity in the process. The $200,000 that I will save in interest by not using a thirty year mortgage, I can use to pay for other things. If I cannot refinance my home for whatever reason, I will affirm to make the extra monthly payments so that my goal will still be met, while continually pursuing a refinance.
2. I will keep all of my debts minimized. I will try to pay cash for all things that I desire. I understand that the interest that I pay the banks is money that can go towards other goals.
3. I will build myself an emergency fund. This will cover unexpected expenses.
4. If I have to purchase a vehicle, I will purchase a reasonable car for a reasonable price that does not affect my effective financial goals. I understand that the more money that I spend on cars, the less money that I have to meet or apply towards other goals. If I have to finance a vehicle, it will never be for more than 36 months, and I will educate myself to understand the effect of high interest financing.
5. I will save at least $50,000 in college tuition for my child. If my child is now eight years old, I would have ten years to reach my goal. If I start this goal today, I will invest $416.66 monthly for college savings, nothing more and nothing less.
6. I will save for an expected retirement income stream of $3500 monthly in an employee sponsored retirement plan, or in an IRA if time permits. This monthly stream will have to last me for thirty years. I will use a conservative estimate in a retirement income calculator (6% of growth) and save at least this monthly amount.
7. I will purchase adequate insurance, so that my assets are protected. I will purchase full coverage for my vehicles, home insurance for my property, dental and medical insurance for my family, and disability insurance to protect my income. I will further purchase life insurance to protect my financial legacy, if I shall perish.

Reevaluate my goals as necessary:

I understand that my goals should be constantly evaluated to reflect my situation. I may decide that I’d rather purchase another home than the one I have. In any case, a paid off home should continue to be a retirement goal. Maybe the effect would be to push back my retirement date. Either way, my plans may need to be adjusted to account for any life changes, seen or unseen.

I hope that you’ve enjoyed reflecting with me. There are many other ways that we prevent wealth, but to expound on all of them will take plenty of your time. We can easily talk about how:

• We try to keep up with the Jones’
• We aren’t very skeptical
• We buy things that we don’t need
• We don’t take advantage of offers
• We are too accustomed to hand-outs
• …And so on.
• …And so on.

But ultimately, we must also understand that time is money. And it is time that we can’t get back. We can reflect forever, but I believe that you may now understand the underlying concepts in this personal reflection. I’d rather you spend your next hour or two reflecting on what you’ve learned. I thank you for reading this far, and I hope that you have enjoyed what you’ve read, but now the changes, if any are needed, are up to you.

If you have enjoyed what you read, please pass this book along to a friend. Hopefully a community of people will evolve that teaches others the mistakes that they have made. Hopefully we may learn from each other and ultimately make better financial decisions together. Remember, it’s not how little we earn; it’s the accumulation of unwise decisions that prevents us from building wealth.