The concept of what a friend has become is so startling. Thanks to the Internet, and with exceptional thanks to Mark Zuckerberg’s Facebook, the traditional definition of what we’ve had as a friend has been revolutionized.
My young son had confided in me about one such revolutionized relationship with a “friend” that had in my words, affected his life. He was playing a game on one of his video game consoles. In this game, one can make “friends” by interacting over an Internet-connected network with others as the game is being played. Eventually, with enough interactions with the same players, “friendships” are made.
It’s really quite simple to make a “friend” with this game; it’s as simple as three button presses on an interfacing controller. After the “friend” has been added to a friend’s list, anytime the game console is turned on, the user will be alerted when a “friend” also turns on his game console if it is connected to the console’s network. After several interactions over the Internet, these “friends” become supposedly “real friends.” Without ever seeing this “friend,” without ever having a conversation outside of an electronic chat, without ever sharing a brawl, without ever touching, a relationship is made.
My son had told me that his “friend” had made him upset one day, and that he was rather sad. His “friend” decided that he did not want to invite my son to play online that day, and his “friend” told him that he was too busy interacting with other online gamer “friends.” Thus, my son became disappointed, and to my dismay, as a parent, I had to share that burden.
In my conversation with my son, I tried to explain to him what a true friend was: someone with whom you can sit down with, have a conversation with, play sports games with, and have a sleepover with. But am I wrong? Has the Internet really revolutionized what a friend has become?
As I pondered this question, I thought about the relationships that I had made over the Internet in my short time blogging and over few years that I had been taking online graduate courses. I too had never met the people with whom I’ve had online interactions with, but over several electronic conversations, connections were eventually made. More conversations had ensued, and I had begun to learn from my new “friends” and share past experiences—things that are fundamentally cherished in friendship. Although these shared experiences had been limited specifically to personal finance, they had been experiences nevertheless.
It has now become easier to find someone over the Internet who is interested in personal finance than it is to find someone with similar interests in person. Is it because it’s just a fact, or is it because our lives have made it so? Unfortunately, I think that it’s the former, especially when the majority of people’s time is spent on the Internet. But then again, there is no coffee shop that advertises; Only Personal Finance Discussions Here any more than there is a school yard that advertises; Only Little Big Planet Discussions Here.
Around the same time that my son had confided in me, my spouse had did the same. She told me how she was kind of upset because her “friends” were going to sporting events that she had wished that she had the opportunity to attend. And she further told me how her friends were meeting the sports stars, which made her disappointments worse. And like my son, my spouse had never actually met these “friends,” but their Internet relationship was built over time. Yet, she still was affected by the comments, pictures, and vacations of these “friends” because she had begun living vicariously through them. Is the new concept of “friend” just a temporary social phenomenon?
The time that is spent with our Internet “friends” is now limited only by time zones, so we can pretty much stay connected, especially with the tools that allow us to do so: laptops, smart phones, and tablets, among other things. Our friends in the past were limited by our routines. But now, our “friends” have become a part of our routines. Waking up in the morning, we can see what our “friends” did while we were asleep. While we are getting ready for work, we can see what our “friends” have posted on their blogs or “pages.” While at work we can interact via our smart phones, and get the latest “statuses” or “tweets” of our friends. In between adding ingredients to our recipes while cooking dinner when we are finally home from work, we can still exchange a few chats. In between waking, going to work, cleaning, and up until we go to bed, we can and often do make our “friends’” lives our own. But in this new concept, does the new “friend” take away from family, or jobs, or our productivity? Are our “friends” just a convenient joy to past time? Are they better for us? Or do our connections become an addiction?
If it is true that time equals money, and money is earned by giving our time, does time excessively spent with our “friends” prevent us from earning money and therefore prevent our wealth? When it comes to a point where we can’t even shut friends off and are expected to respond quickly to their “pokes,” doesn’t it take away from our productivity? Can’t we do something else more meaningful? Have our “friends” really become so important that we allow those interactions to take away from who we are?
So like my son was affected by his “friend’s” actions over his gaming network and like my spouse was affected by her vicarious desires, does your social “friends” affect your earning ability, productivity, or creativity? Are those relationships so important as to take away from our productivity?
How much of our time that we spend online can be spent instead on building a better relationship with our partners or children? How much of that time can be spent experiencing life? How much of that time could be spent by earning extra money, working on a novel, taking online classes, creating the next Facebook? How does your “friends” affect your earning ability? How does your “friends” affect your significant relationships? How do your friends prevent your wealth?
Let me be clear, though, social networking, blogs, video games, books, and other things are not the enemy. We are in control. However, if we let these new social forms of engagement consume and affect our lives, we will no longer be in control. We must all strive for the perfect work-life balance. We must give ourselves a time limit on our engagements. We must figure out which ones are more important to our productivity and which of our “friends” are really helping us to grow. Because ultimately, taking in too much of one thing will always leave too little room for something else. Always. But I suppose what the question really boils down to is that of productivity, and do we understand the importance of a work-life balance concept?
The work-life balance concept is about prioritizing work and pleasures such as social networking, video games, and other things that may direct our attention away from securing our financial future. In order to maximize our financial future, we must never be complacent with our financial situation unless we have reached a point where we no longer are depending on others for our income; in many cases, few people have reached such a pinnacle. Therefore, we must balance pleasures with work. If we find that we are neglecting to do things such as continue our education or learn a new skill, or not doing things to maximize our earnings and therefore our marketability at work, then we must find an appropriate balance. Working on earning a degree as opposed to working to get to the next level in a video game will almost always be better for our financial future.
Some of us strive to achieve the work-life balance concept, yet we often fail, and it’s acceptably understood given all of the distractions in the new world that we live in. We just have to keep striving to achieve balance. If we are not careful, we may find that our dealings with technology may cheat us out of living. Whether that living is through building a stronger relationship with the family, or giving more time to one’s self by increasing one’s education, whether formal or informal, we should try to lean towards these things prior to settling down into our virtual escapes.
Prior to playing a video game, writing a blog post, watching an hour of television, or whatever it is that we may struggle with, we must take a look around the house and ask ourselves, can our time be spent doing something better? Is the laundry put away or has it been in the dryer for several days now? Have I played the board game with my children that they received for Christmas or a birthday?
Have I read a book in a while that causes me to think and reflect? Is whatever it is that I am about to do going to help me or someone else grow?
If you are currently uncomfortable with your financial picture, you should ask yourself whether whatever it is that you long so much to do is going to help your financial future. Or will you continue your old ways, and thus prevent yourself from building wealth, even though wealth is knowingly within your reach?